TheAwakening
~ The Awakening ~
A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out, "ENOUGH!" Enough fighting and crying or struggling to old on.
And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and, through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety, and security to come galloping over the new horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella (nor are you Superman and she, Lois Lane!) and that in the real world there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings, for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with YOU and in the process a sense of SERENITY is born of ACCEPTANCE.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are... and that's okay! (They are still entitled to their own views and opinions.) You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about YOU.
And you begin to sift through all the stuff you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, and what you should do for a living, whom you should sleep with, whom you should marry, and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing. You stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting BOUNDARIES and learning to say, "NO."
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them to be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love... and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms just to make you happy.
And you learn that alone does not mean lonely... and you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop tring to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect... and you won't settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch... and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect.
You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise.
You learn the fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our souls. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn to fight for your life and not to squander living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people.
On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And yo larn to deal with evil in its most primal state -- the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never settle for less than your heart's desire.
And you hang a windchime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and your Higher Power by your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.
~ Virginia Marie Swift ~
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